Smart aleck

Me: “So yesterday, I was at the same stop sign I got the ticket at, and I saw the cop waiting in the same place he was when I got the ticket (for not coming to a complete stop). To thumb my nose at him, I waited at the stop sign for, like, 20 seconds – is that long enough for you?!?”

Jay: “That’ll show him!”

Husband meme (amended)

I really need to steal my memes from someone else other than Karen. But no other blogs I read currently have them.

1. Sitting in front of the tv, what’s on the screen?
If it’s Saturday, football. If it’s a late weeknight, probably comedy. sci-fi or something educational. Specific programs he likes include How It’s Made, Mythbusters, Andy Griffith, Little House on the Prairie and most anything on TLC or Discovery. Oh, and he likes many classic movies as well (TCM).

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

Caesar? Gosh, I’m not really sure. I think he changes it up between Caesar and Ranch.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
Black-eyed peas

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order?
We don’t do bars but he has an occasional Dos Equis or Shiner with his Tex-Mex

5. Where did he go to high school?
Lorena High School in TX

6. What size shoe does he wear?
9

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
He has a neat little collection of world percussion instruments but he hasn’t added to it recently.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
meatball or ruben

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
Tex-Mex or Chinese

10. What is his favorite cereal?
Cookie Crisp

11. What would he never wear?
A short-sleeved dress shirt. Don’t know what he has against them?

12. What is his favorite sports team?
Texas Longhorns by a landslide

13. Who will he vote for?
Do we really have a choice?

14. Who is his best friend?
Glen (bro-in-law), Eric and Woody in TN, Curt (TX)

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

He’s watching the TX game and I just asked him this question and he said, “talk during football games.”

16. How many states has he lived in?
two – TX and TN

17. What is his heritage?
German

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Pineapple upside-down cake, although it always looks like a mess. I never claimed to be Betty Crocker.

19. Did he play sports in high school?
He ran track

20. What could he spend hours doing?
playing drums or woodworking

Ok, I lied about not posting

That about sums it up.

My husband in a nutshell

Just call me little miss Muffett

I had just gotten into the minivan last night to head towards the grocery store when Jay came up and frantically tapped on my window.

“You’re not going to BELIEVE what’s on the front porch!”

I followed him, snapped a photo and then left him with it: “good luck with THAT.”

marriage vows amendment

There should be something in your marriage vows that mandates husbands to provide a warm body part for his wife to warm her cold feet on when they get in bed on chilly nights. Hmph.

Every time I get in bed with my cold little feet, I stick them on Jay’s warm leg and he either grumbles and rolls over or yelps and scoots to the other side of the bed (I guess it depends how cold my feet are.)

Women, are you with me on this?

My little girl the football nut

My husband has brainwashed BOTH of our children now. When Mikaela watches games with him, she’ll say “Tek-shush, yay!” when prompted.

And today, when I walked into the kids’ room (they were supposed to be napping), I found her standing in her crib with Gabriel’s football in her hand. She looked at me and said, “Catch!”

Football widow seeks replacement husband for the season

Well, college football began tonight. And so begins another season of being married to a zombie-fied husband who can only recite football stats, team profiles, and what each player for every college team eats for breakfast.

My normally perfectly sane, mild-mannered husband turns into a lunatic each football season. I mean, really. Every time he watches a game, he screams so loud I’m just waiting for the police to come and arrest him for disturbing the peace.

We may have had a breakthrough on the football front, though: Jay was just narrating the play-by-play of the first game of the season (it’s still on as I write this) when I informed him that no offense, but I REALLY don’t care. He said that he wasn’t really talking “to” me, more like he’s talking ‘at’ me. So, I convinced him to talk at my already-brainwashed 2-year-old son. Every time football comes on, Gabriel runs to retrive his toy football from his room. He crouches in front of the TV, ball in hand, waiting for the snap. After they hike the ball, Gabriel runs and throws the football at us (boy, that kid has an ARM already!)

So, that’s taken care of one thing. Next, I hope to pawn Jay off on our friend Paul, a fellow crazy Longhorns fan. I’ll make food for him to bring! Just take him off my hands on gameday, please!

A man worthy of honor

I’m always bugged when I see the commercials who paint men as a stupid, inept lot who are good for not much more than breeding and working. I am all for women being treated fairly by their husbands, in the workplace, and in society in general. But when did the feminist movement get to this point – where women are portrayed as superior beings and men are slobbering idiots? I’m not buying it.

My husband is why. He may be your above-average man, but he’s definitely doing more than his share to debunk any of these useless-male stereotypes.

So, today, I wanted to write an open letter honoring my husband for who he is and what he means to me. He’s by no means perfect (who is?), but he’s worthy of being recognized nonetheless.

To Jay:

I want to thank you for everything you are to me and our family. Thank you first of all for praying for our family and for being what I’m sure Christ envisioned a husband should be to a family – a spiritual leader, as well as a patient and loving husband and father.

Thank you for standing by me through sickness, depression and general hard times. You always know how to lift me up when I’m down.

Thank you for being such an amazing father. Not only do you get down on the floor and play with them, you aren’t afraid to get your hands dirty and change diapers, give baths, feed them, and whatever else you see that needs doing. Actually, you do a whole lot for the kids … and I thank you so much for that.

Many men work countless hours at their jobs to achieve what the world would label “success.” But you have already TRULY reached success at what really matters in life. We may have our differences, but I wouldn’t trade you for the world.

Love,

Mel