Free at last
I just ‘fired’ the rotten little boy I’ve been watching after he intentionally peed and pooped in his pants (3rd time this week) … this time, in Mikaela’s baby doll car seat. I’ve endured 6 weeks of disrespect, defiance, rudeness and extreme hyperactivity. I had just had my fill after what he did today.
At the same time, I felt bad. My personality makes me not want to disappoint people. I’m something between an overachiever and a perfectionist. I broke the news as gently as I could, then I gave her the numbers of two other local babysitters that I’d found on craigslist. Apparently this was not the first time he’s been “kicked out” of someone’s daycare.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all of my free time now (ha). I’m sure I’ll get back to a better homeschooling schedule with Mikaela. And I hope I’ll be picking up more freelance work now that we’re entering the ‘end of the year crunch’ at the magazine I work for.
Taking a short break
I’ve got 10 days before a huge writing/SEO project is due, so I probably won’t be blogging much the next week-and-a-half.
I worked over 9 hours today, and I’m spent. I don’t know what it is, but work-related writing really takes it out of me. I could seriously go to sleep right now (it’s just after 8 pm).
So … I guess I’ll catch up with you around Feb. 1st!
Free at last
Well, my boss – er, make that former boss - finally responded to my email. I’ll post it here because it just amuses me.
You have placed this store in a very bad position today. My understanding was that you gave me notice until the 14th. [I did no such thing] You have been, up until now, a very reliable and wonderful employee. But today I have to close the store to go get **** and will have to everyday until I can find someone. **** can not take this shift b/c her daughter also gets out of school at 1145.
B/c I don’t know what to expect from you next Melanie, until you get your body chemistry under control I can not have you on staff. This is the one thing that clenches the deal. You just don’t this. And what really upsets me is that you are doing it by email. Let me know where to send your check.
Thanks for the employee that you were. She was great, I’ll have her back anytime.
Wow, I never knew I was schizophrenic! Will someone please tell my other personalities to drop me an email so we can all get on the same page?
I have been trying to quit for weeks now but she guilt-tripped me out of it every time. I HATE that I’m such a doormat when it comes to standing up to a boss with a pushy personality. Anyway, I got to the point where I had a horrible day yesterday and I just snapped and quit. The main thing that pushed me over the edge was my concern for my kids’ safety, which my boss did not care about in the least. I picked Mikaela up yesterday to wipe the blood from her busted lip (she fell down in the store), and my boss snapped: “well, she could’ve busted her lip at home!” That’s just one petty example, but there’s many more. I’ll spare you. 
This is getting to be a recurring theme in my life. I really, really need to work on setting boundaries with employers up-front, instead of letting them take advantage of me more and more, stewing about it until I just can’t take it anymore. This happened with my last boss, a 25-year-old computer guru who was consistently working me 18-hour days. I just did as I was told, getting angrier and angrier at his lack of regard for my family time, until one day I just had enough and that was that.
I guess if I’m really honest, this is all no one’s fault but my own. No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.
I quit
I had the day from hell today. I guess it could’ve been worse, but I’m stressed nonetheless.
I took the kids to work with me today at my p/t job, something I’ve been doing more often than I originally agreed to. From the time I went in today, Mikaela was not minding me on the cardinal store rules like ‘no playing with the merchandise’ (the kids have a very nice playroom in the back with toys in it).
Anyway, when I finally shooed Mikaela into the playroom, a customer came in with her kids. I heard a blood-curdling shriek and came running – to find a very small child crumpled on the floor, Mikaela standing over her. Mikaela had apparently hit her over the head with a hard plastic toy. A goose egg came up quickly. Obviously, the girl’s mom was upset. I ran next door to CiCi’s Pizza to get a bag of ice. I’m still scratching my head over this, because Mikaela might be mischevious, but she’s never done anything downright mean like that unprovoked. I’m betting the girl hit her first.
Anyway, the day plodded on and I heard another scream from the playroom – this time it was Mikaela’s. She’d fallen and busted her lip. She’s fine, but has a nasty little cut on the inside of her lower lip.
Later in the day, my boss sternly got on to Mikaela for playing with the merchandise. It’s not that Mikaela didn’t need to be reprimanded, but I don’t think it’s her place to yell at my kids.
Not long after, the kids were back in the playroom and Gabriel came out, upset, pointing to a boy more than twice his size and saying that he hit him.
There was a lot of other little stuff, but it just hit me like a ton of bricks today: having my kids up here with me is NOT a good idea. I told her I was quitting, and she argued and tried to manipulate me as usual. I know, she has a very hectic, hard life, but honestly? I can’t make her problems my own. My family comes first and I just don’t feel like I’m doing what’s right for my kids.
I sent her an email once I got home reiterating that I would not be coming up there with my kids anymore. She has not responded.
Working for the woman
Well, after taking my kids to work with me for a few weeks now, I can say that this perfect-sounding solution to my problems is not so perfect. Taking kids to work with you is hard!
For example, today my boss left me to tend the store by myself for 5 hours. It is extremely hard to run a store by yourself, especially when you have your kids with you. Mikaela had a bad diaper and I had to tell her to wait a minute until I finished ringing someone up. That’s when I said to myself “this is NOT going to work.”
Today was the first day I’ve been alone that long, but apparently my manager plans to do that every day, since she has to drive to another city to pick one daughter up from her pre-K program at 11 – and she has to stay there to pick her other daughter up after 3. I don’t know what this woman was thinking, opening her own small business (the store opened in mid July) and then planning to be gone half of each day. I am raring to quit, and I’m only waiting for her to hire a new person.
I don’t think it’ll be a problem financially, anyway – my other job (freelance editing/writing) is gearing up for a busy fall and winter season.
In other news, we are about a month away from moving now. We have some stuff in the works, but more on that when we find out for sure.
What is it with me?
This is the third job in a row that I’ve worked at where I’ve wound up butting heads with my boss. The first two instances I felt my boss was taking advantage of me (i.e. – one was wanting me to work through my lunch and another was working me 18-hour days) (among other things), but this one is just turning out to be a jerk.
Earlier in the week I had agreed to come in yesterday (Thursday) to cover for the other two girls who were busy, and the store’s owner, who had a meeting with her realtor about the house she is buying. I agreed to come in, but when both of my kids wound up getting sick at their stomachs, I called her early yesterday morning and asked if one of the other girls couldn’t come in because my kids were sick. She got a snotty tone with me and told me I needed to “put my best foot forward” and come in.
I had to call Jay to come home from work and watch the kids so I could go in. His boss was furious, because they were short-handed. When I got to work and told my boss that, she said that he needed to “get over it” and “be like a tree and bend.” She asked how often he had to take off from work because the kids were sick.
I don’t know about you, but I think a normal person would have appreciated the fact that my husband left his professional job, despite being chewed out for it, to come home so I could cover for her at HER STORE so she could go to her meeting.
I further told her that Jay said that this kind of thing couldn’t happen again and he just wanted me to work evenings and weekends there from now on. Her response was, “oh, he’s just mad, he’ll get over it.”
Then she started guilt-tripping me about training me and now she was going to have to get someone else (to work the hours she needs) and train them all over again. I can honestly say that she’s put about 15 or 20 minutes of training into me … it’s not rocket science.
I have a personality that wants to please everyone … I hate disappointing people, so this is a struggle. But at the end of the day, I have to put my family’s needs first.
Another week
I’m keeping busy with two jobs and two kids. I know, my jobs are only part-time, but add that onto being a mom and it’s plenty.
Things at the consigment store are nuts. There are only 4 of us who work there, and 3 of us are part-time. We are drowning in inventory. People keep bringing us huge storage bins filled with clothes, which is a good thing except for the sheer volume of it all. Our back room looks like a laundry hamper threw up all over it. The problem is sorting through the clothes and weeding out everything that’s worn, has spots or small holes, etc. Then we have to button buttons, snap snaps, etc. and hang everything on hangers, enter it into the computer and tag it. Before we put it out on the floor it all has to be separated by gender, size and color. When you multiply those steps by thousands of items of clothing, it takes time. And time is running out, because tax-free weekend is this weekend (for the people shopping for back-to-school clothes), and we need to have everything out on the floor by then. I could get a lot more accomplished in a day if it weren’t for the darn customers bugging me. 
Another thing that’s slowing us up is having to sort through our toys and make sure none of them were included in the various recent toy recalls.
Yesterday was quite a day. An entire wall of shelving and clothing racks came crashing down suddenly and without warning. The stuff fell on the floor right where a baby had been sitting just minutes earlier. There were no customers in the store at the time, thank goodness.
I still like the job, mostly. I can’t see it being something long-term, though, especially in light of the fact that we might be moving soon. But that’s another story entirely.
One week down
I’ve been working at my job for a week now, and I love it. We’re working out kinks in my schedule, but I’m basically going to be working weekedays from 2:30 through 7:30 or so, and Saturdays from noon until whenever. That gives me mornings and early afternoons with the kids, and I can still be home in time to see them before they go to bed. I’m not going to get rich at this job, but it’s enjoyable and it’ll be enough to make ends meet. I hope.
So, we may get a second car this weekend. We would have had one earlier in the week, but the credit union we bank with didn’t want to pay the amount that Carmax wanted for the car, so we would have had to pony up over $2,000 to get the car. No thanks.
We’re also possibly going to look at a house this weekend. I’m excited.
Back to the job – I think one of the reasons I love it so much is that I get to see cute babies all day. What fun. I was baby-talking to a 6-month-old boy today and he gave me a wide, toothless grin. No regular desk job has perks like that!
On bringing the kids to work
My boss is the coolest person ever for letting me and my co-worker bring our kids to work at the consignment shop we work at. The shop has a really great playroom full of toys and a TV so they can watch Sesame Street, etc.
Between my kids, my boss’s kids, my co-worker’s kid and the kid of the shop-owner next door, it gets noisy in there, though. And it always seems like someone’s got a dirty diaper. But it’s an interesting little experiment. My kids love getting a chance to socialize with other kids close to their ages, and they really love an opportunity to play with a bunch of new toys. Thankfully, the shop’s small enough that I can keep a good eye on them. Another plus is that there’s a window into the playroom, so we can peek at them from the cash register or from out on the sales floor.
So, Monday I worked about 5 hours with the kids in tow, and today I worked about 7. Monday was difficult, but today went a lot more smoothly, partly because the kids settled down for a long nap in the stock room while I worked right next to them, sorting clothes.
I think a part-time schedule would work best, though … I know they’re having fun, but I want some good one-on-one time with them at home too. If my boss keeps my current schedule the same, I’ll be working Mondays, Tuesdays and Saturdays. Obviously on Saturdays, Jay can keep the kids for me while I work.
I must say … I am pretty exhausted. The consignment shop I’m working at is pretty new and we have a massive backlog of inventory to sort through, inventory, tag and put out on the floor. I’ve tagged so many items the last two days, my fingers are blistered.
I’ll write more soon … I need to get some rest.
Got (another) job
Well, Monday I start at a local consignment shop on a part-time basis. The owner has her kids there, and I’m going to bring mine as well. I figure the kids can socialize for a few hours while I make some $$ …
We’ll see how it works out. Should be interesting!
I guess another perk of working at a consignment shop will be getting dibs on the good toys and clothes when they come in. Hopefully I’ll still have a paycheck after that!
I’m still going to be freelancing as well, but I’m hoping this new part-time position will have a more reliable, steady income. It’s hard to budget when you don’t know whether you’re going to be working 5 or 55 hours in a given pay period.
We have decided it’s time to get another car to replace ours that broke down. The new job is a partial reason, as is Gabriel’s speech therapy through the local school district, which will be starting up again soon. It’s going to be so nice to have a car available during the weekdays again!
I’m still committed to homeschooling, but I can definitely see that between my 2 p/t jobs and that I’m going to have to be really wise with my time-management.
Most embarrassing work moments
Since we spend a good little chunk of our lives in the workplace, it follows that we are going to have some embarrasing moments along the way. I’d like to hear yours, but I’ll share some of mine first:
Mel’s Mortifying Moments
- About a year-and-a-half ago, I asked a co-worker when she was due. I knew better than that, but I asked anyway. She replied that she was not pregnant, but had recently had abdominal surgery. I spent the rest of my time at that job trying to avoid her.
- When I worked for a magazine company in the Nashville area, I absentmindedly answered the phone one day while in the middle of reading an email. I said into the receiver: “X Magazine Company, this is me.” The person on the other end of the line giggled and said, “well, I’d hoped it was you!” It just happened to be my boss.
- The one that takes the cake: when I was 16 I worked as a cashier at a grocery store. We weren’t allowed to bring our purses in, so we had to stash whatever we needed for the shift in our oversized smock pockets. That day, I had a very handsome man come through my line and ask me for a pen to write his check with. I reached into my smock pocket and handed him … a tampon. He grinned at my mistake as I prayed for the earth to open and swallow me.
All right, now it’s your turn. Come on, people, out of the woodwork.
Finished
I’m completely finished with my freelance project that I’ve been immersed in for the last two months, which provokes two responses:
Yea! I’m done!
Oh, CRAP. I’m done.
I hope they decide to send some more stuff my way … this steady income has been nice.
An answer
Remember that interview I went on a month ago? You know, the one where my interviewer said that she thought “I was the woman for this job?” Well, apparently, not so much, because I talked to her today and they are “more interested in another candidate.”
Hi, my name is Melanie and I’m the unemployable woman.
That gives me an idea for a job! I could be a circus sideshow.
Or maybe a Hooters waitress (who says they have to be skinny?) 
Seriously? I have to have a sense of humor about this, or I could easily let myself get into a serious depression. I know God opens and closes doors for a reason, but it’s hard not to get impatient when you’ve been looking for a job for almost a year.
I did have one interesting development today, though. I have been taking the kids to a new play-center near my house, and I’ve started to get to know the owners. I talked to them today and they’re Christians. After hearing about my background and my current situation, they suggested that I could work part-time for them and bring my kids along with me. The pay’s not phenomenal, but when you think about how much child care costs, I’d probably be bringing home about the same $$ as if I had a full-time job and both kids in daycare/preschool. Part of me feels like if I work at a job like that, my ‘career’ is going to be further sidelined. It’s already been over a year since I’ve worked full-time, and I know employers don’t like to see resume gaps.
But, realistically? This is the first job offer I’ve actually had. Even if it’s not what I planned for or expected, maybe this is what I’m supposed to do for now?
“We’ve decided to pursue another candidate.”
In other words, I didn’t get the job.
It’s okay … I really didn’t want it after I heard how many hours they expected you to work every week.
Interview update
I don’t think I did a great job on today’s interview. I did “okay,” but I think I could have definitely done better. I should have just re-scheduled it for some later date after I was better … sniffling through the whole thing definitely didn’t help.
Oh, well … I guess if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.
Speaking of the interview, I forgot how much I hated high heels. Those things are evil devices of torture. Why the hell we women think we have to clomp around in those things is beyond me. But clomp we do.
Second interview
I have a face-to-face interview tomorrow morning with the same people I interviewed over the phone with last week. I also have a raging sinus infection. I hope I can suck it up and interview well.
Interview went well
Well, the phone interview went well. They talked to me for 45 minutes. They said they’d let me know something in a couple of weeks. Cross your fingers!
A little while after the interview, I walked past one of our end tables and banged my leg on the corner. I collapsed on the couch, gritting my teeth and saying ‘ow!’ Mikaela came over and patted me on the arm and said, ‘you aah-wite, mama?’
I’m exhausted this afternoon. I got up at 6 this morning and couldn’t fall back to sleep. That’s eaaarly for me. If I get this job, it’s going to be a major adjustment having to get up early and be at a job by 8 am, for the first time since … well, August 2003. Even though I’ve worked full-time since then, it’s been second shift.
I personally wish all jobs were second-shift. I think life would be so much easier. Well, I guess not for the morning people.
I didn’t get the job
I have nothing funny or profound to say about this. I am just weary and discouraged.
Pumping Gas in Heels
Well, after that sugary email about staying home ‘for the kids,’ I’ve since been kicked in the shins by life (can’t seem to find kids to babysit and I need a job NOW). So, I looked on craigslist for a job yesterday. I found one very close by that was a very good match with my job skills, so I applied.
Well, the manager of the company called me at 10:30 this morning and said that he was very impressed with my resume and wanted to know if we could meet at 3 pm. Not wanting to give away my parental status, I said “yes” without much hesitation.
So, I got off the phone and spent the next several hours running around like my hair was on fire … I had to find a babysitter on three hours’ notice, take a shower, bathe the kids, eat lunch, feed the kids lunch, get their baby bag together, iron my clothes, clean them up after lunch, clean the messy kitchen floor, change their diapers, brush my teeth, dry and style my hair, dress the kids, dress myself, and then leave the house.
Next I went to a gas station in my Nice Interview Suit and sweet-talked the attendant into letting me write a post-dated check for gas, since I was broke and on empty. I hurried back to the car because my kids were in it, reached through the open window and unlocked the driver’s-side door. When I opened it, the alarm went off. Having inherited this van recently from my in-laws, I didn’t know it even had an alarm. So, I hit the “panic” button on the keyring to shut the horn off. I put my keys in the ignition, and the honking started up again and the motor shut itself off. “Perfect!” I’m thinking, now getting all sweaty in said Nice Suit.
I looked around and asked the closest person to me if he knew how to fix it. He shook his head no; I think maybe he didn’t speak English. I then turned to another guy and he didn’t know either. I finally had the brainstorm to look at the owner’s manual, which told me to hit the “unlock” button on my keyring to disarm the alarm.
Well, that little side-trip took me about 15 minutes, so I had to speed all the way to the babysitter’s house and back to get to the job interview on time. Thank God there were no cops around.
Anyway, I think the interview went really well. I’ll keep you informed.
What I want to be when I grow up – Part II
So, I’ve decided to babysit kids in my home as a part-time job. I start watching two this week, and maybe another one soon thereafter. Five kids all together (including mine)? Piece of cake. Well .. ask me again after I’ve actually kept them for a whole day.
I’m still toying with the idea of going to nursing school p/t at night. At least it would give me another career to work towards when the kids are in school.
And that’s what this is all about … I just want to be here until the kids are in school full-time. And that’s 3 1/2 years away, give or take depending on preschool.
The little devil on my shoulder tells me that I’m throwing my current career away. And that may be true … but I just don’t care. Unless I can find another job situation that benefits my kids more than this … it just ain’t happenin’.
Let me back up and give some background here: I worked in the publishing industry for about six years, mostly in editing/writing. When I had my son in 2003, I started working out of my house (for the same company). It was a challenge, but it was workable with one child. After Mikaela was born in 2005, it’s been a different story, though: my dilemma has been that I need to earn money, but childcare for two kids is EXPENSIVE. I mean, $800 on the really low end and $1600 on the higher end.
So, after taking about 9 months off after Mikaela’s birth, I went back to work full-time in my field, working second-shift. I thought it was the perfect answer to our problems – a job that let my husband and I take on most of the childcare responsibilities ourselves (although we did use a babysitter for about 10 hours a week to cover the overlap in our work schedules).
What it ended up meaning is that my husband and I were both stressed because we were both working long hours and then being the kids’ sole childcare provider for all of our other waking hours. My husband and I rarely saw each other. The situation was just so stressful, it just got to the point where it wasn’t worth it. That combined with some personality conflicts at work .. and it just wasn’t working out.
So, this last May I started working out of my home doing freelance web design and marketing. Yes, I’m crazy. No, it didn’t work. No, I don’t know why I thought I could swing working at home while caring for TWO toddlers.
So, now I’ve decided to try the childcare-in-my-home route. It pays very little, but hey, I’ll be with my kids, and that’s worth much more than having a new car, or a house, or even nice clothes. It’s a season of my life … and as much as it hurts one part of me to step away from my career path, I’m embarking on something that feels a lot more important and significant in terms of the big picture. (So, then why don’t people value childcare providers more?)
What I want to be when I grow up
I was one of the really fortunate (blessed, really) ones: I got a great job while I was still in college, working for a company in the exact field I was going into – journalism. It was a great, family-friendly company, and I developed close relationships with many of my co-workers. Morale was great (at least when I started); the employees really believed in the company and its mission.
I spent five years there. What a first “real” job, huh?
Needless to say, it’s been hard finding the perfect second ”career” job after the bar’s been set so high. I know that I am a valuable asset to a company, and I’m holding out not only for the right money, but for the right position.
But after months of that, you start to question yourself, your motives, and your career choices. I’ve started wondering if I need to go back to school and get my nursing degree – there’s always a need for nurses.
I’ve been freelancing for a few months now, while simultaneously being a stay-at-home mom, and let me tell you, it’s darn near impossible to be productive with two toddlers running amok.
So, here I sit, in limbo again. Actually, I made a decision today to stop worrying about it and let God handle it. (I’ve applied to plenty of jobs, and there’s nothing else I can really do at this point.) He hasn’t let me starve to death yet (not even close), and I don’t reckon He’s going to start anytime soon. So, why do I worry like He might have forgotten me, or fallen asleep or something?
Actually, I think I had an epiphany today. I think the problem I’ve had the last couple of years lies in my focusing on the problem and not on the Answer.
No, you’re not that important
Why is it that there’s always those drivers that recklessly weave in and out of traffic at a high rate of speed just so they can gain an advantage? What are they saying, ”Oh, goody! I got to the red light first!” ? Read the rest of this entry »
WAHM
That's work-at-home-mom to those of you not in the loop.
Anyway, I 'is' one.
Everyone always coos "OHHH! You're SO lucky!" when they hear about my job.
It IS a good gig, but, like any other job, it's not without its own unique set of problems. I'll break it down for anyone in the market: Read the rest of this entry »
